Shine Child, Shine!

So, it's Saturday again. Lately, I've been quite the hermit crab [minus our NYC retreat]. The girls and I have been too busy doing our own thing to hang out, and I've started to fall out of the club scene. My grades look nice though! However I find myself wondering, what happened to that social butterfly I once was? I read in a magazine once that you shouldn't have your "Moment of Shine" in your teenage years. Looking at it, maybe that's how people get played out. Is this why child stars always grow up to be twisted? I'm on the verge of 20 now [still young, yes I know] but the older I get, the more anxious I become to have that moment. Yeah, we were cool kids in high school but that counts for nothing. And then I wonder why even feel this pressure to be the next IT girl? Who doesn't want to be the IT girl? But then again, who cares? What will it change? Then it dawned on me. I don't wanna be America's next top model. I wasn't put here to be the sex symbol of the century. All in all, screw the pressure. I just want to write and live lavishly. Is that too hard? I think not. Sounds pretty damn successful to me.