Tuesday, January 26, 2010

To Spell It Out A Bit...

I'm writing this post in the least morbid way possible but I've been wondering a lot lately about belonging.

Like, for instance, between classes we sometimes sit outside & people watch. A lot of people look the same. People are discussing the same things, stressing the same issues, going to the same places everyday.

Maybe its me. Maybe my upbringing didn't prepare me correctly. Moving every three years, starting new, seeing new places. Being a journalism student, studying everything that's new. & To make things even better, not giving an ounce of a fck. [excuse my dirty english] But all these elements of my upbringing are making me more of an....idk, wouldn't say outcast but I'm not into the conformity. I get bored with things quicker than ever these days and always wanting something new. Someplace new to go. Something new to do. When things get dull, I don't want much to do with is and then I start to become introverted.

Its strange, I LOVE to meet people. & Most of the time, the people that I meet, I end up LOVING them. Friends are important & I cherish everyone. But lately something is holding me back from networking. I want new things.

I want to meet new folks. Party in new places. Talk about things that actually matter, you know?
Just going to New York recently , I see how people are living. Its more me. I feel like there's no holding back & that's exactly what I need. But how can you live your life to the fullest when you're stressing all the eyes who are watching you? People consistently judging and whispering.
I wish people here would just take a little time to stfu & stop worrying about what people think. I guarantee almost everyone has another side to them that people haven't seen.
If people would realize that only God can judge when it comes down to it, more people would start being more open and live freely. & be happy. What the hell are we so concerned about?
When the phrase, "im the realest" becomes a cliche, I think its time we reevaluate our lifestyles.

Therefore in short, I think I'm going to start showing my true self. Not that I've been portraying anyone else but I've been holding back. This doesnt mean I'm going to go around being some reckless beyotch. Just not the quiet girl you see everywhere. No need for anyone's approval. Maybe I'll meet more friends [im in the need of serious networking] & maybe others with shy away from me. & that's fine too.

So if you see me on the street, say hello. & if I'm looking like im in a bit of a daze, its probably because I'm overwhelmed by my generations values.

To be honest, the things that go through my mind are so far from what you probably think I'm thinking about.

Get to know me. Take me as I am. Thats all I ask.



CoolCrazyCourt said...

I love this! So true. I wrote a paper about this. We don't need to conform, people need to be like us. I let go of the quiet me in 9th grade. Something just hit me in the brain one day that there was no reason to be. Now that I look bck on it, I have no clue why... But this year, I've decided to be more open. I've made like 17 new friends already this semester! They're all pretty cool.... I also feel you about the constant boredom of "normalness". Like we need excitement! When things become basic and simple it's no longer intriguing... just normal. I HATE normal anything... reason behind my always changing hair styles. I never want to fit into a category and be like everyone else. Simplicity is not something I'll accept in my life. We should just chill in the compass (on a warmer day) and meet people! Make ourselves known to the world. :)
Love ya!

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